I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
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