Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
