it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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