New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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