Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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