; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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