HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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