It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
