he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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