Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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