I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
