you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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