OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
