How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am naked and annoyed.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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