if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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