Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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