so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am naked and annoyed.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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