I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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