I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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