Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
