Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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