Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
