For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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