This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
