she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up under a house in Key West
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
