what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you would pick up someone in the library
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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