So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
