He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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