Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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