She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
