They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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