Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
