I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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