dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
