Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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