lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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