Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
