We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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