i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
