The maid of honor just puked.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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