i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
