i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
