I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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