What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize