my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize