i think my mom watched the whole time
false alarm. still invincible.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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