my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I die, sorry about rent.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
