just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you had me at cake vodka
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize