Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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