she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
