Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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