Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
