just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
