I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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