My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
