I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
